One day I will know
How to smile again.
The feelings of happiness will emerge from its hiding place, the spot I didn’t know existed within the seed of my sadness.
I knew this day was coming. Nothing I said or did prepare. Even though I said I was ready, I’m still holding back.
Letting go is the hardest thing. I thought I was past this, but I can’t seem to give up on you every time you leave your human form a little bit more.
You are my mother’s first love in my life.
We’ve been together for so long; it’s hard for me to be strong.
Even as a young child, I could never leave. I was scared you’d run away.
Fear always engulfs me.
Maybe I can’t let go and picture myself as that young child again.
Who cried when you left me alone in kindergarten? All I wanted was to be around you.
You call me your angel, who surprised you because you were older when I came around.
But you know as well as I do. I was always destined to be by your side.
And I will be there, even if you are aware or not.
Remember or forget me – I’ll hold on.
There is no beginning, and there is never an end. Love lives on beyond the ashes of death.
One day, we will finally reunite.
Until then, you will wait, and I will try to move on.
Thoughts of you will wash over me occasionally, and then your sweet face will fill my mind and break my heart again.
One day, I will hurt a little less because I know you’re waiting for me, but for now, it was your time to finally feel free.