Inner conflict is one of the most challenging self-sabotaging habits to overcome
I’ve never been one to let things to — to allow anything to dissolve that causes me to hurt, emotional and physical pain — as well as the inner turmoil that comes with it. Letting go of something isn’t ever easy — especially when it comes to letting a loved one go. The distance can separate us and cause a loss of touch — but what if that separation is Gods own will, and not something that you would have expected now — or ever? The loss of a loved one through death is possibly the most painful experience you will ever come across. Death is final; there is no chance of reconciliation or knowing they are somewhere within reach. But, on the other hand, death is the place to ascend toward when your time on planet earth has ended abruptly. Realising that both of my parents aren’t here anymore is hard for me — especially knowing now that my mum has made her transition. Her death hit me like a never-ending avalanche of pain. But, then, just when I think that the pain is easing just a little — it comes back on the right out of nowhere. Perhaps this is part of the grieving process, but I know myself too well. Letting go is one of the most significant and most challenging, painful traits I have. Because I’m on a mission to change my life for the better, working on eliminating this flaw is probably the best place to start. But how will I go about doing this very thing that seems to take over my daily life? So here are the things I challenge myself to tackle starting today.
Letting go one: Allow those emotions to come and go
Sometimes this works well, and other times it doesn’t. When the feelings of overwhelm start to take over, I allow them to come in peace and acknowledgment. I enable them to disappear as they eventually will without too much fuss. Maybe a walk outdoors helps to flush out the emotions. Other times I open up my laptop and start writing. There is no right or wrong- do what works for you, which gives you a sense of peace after the moments have passed and moved on.
Letting go Two: Talk to the person
Although the person you love isn’t here, I find that the spiritual realm is closer than we think. Speak to them, either out loud or in your mind. What do you want to tell them — let it all out just like you are having a conversation with them close by. Light up a candle, some incense or even say a prayer of thanks for them. Then when you are ready, bid them goodbye — until next time.
Letting go Three: Be around people who lift me
It certainly helps to be around people that support and show you how special you are. Even a phone call, a coffee or a friendly online conversation is enough to lift your spirits. Find those people around you with the patience and love to be a true friends, and stay loyal to you. It can be hard to open up about your inner turmoil, but those who know you well understand what’s going on and won’t push. They will be that little light that turns on and shows itself when times are tough.
Letting go Four: Eliminating pointless things
This is one of the sticking points that I eliminated this week. I finally got sick and tired of doing things just for the sake of them. This is one of the traits of not being able to let go. Just because something is familiar and the right thing to do, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. If it’s not serving a higher purpose, making you feel good and creating some traction — get rid of it. This meant I would eliminate some things I was paying for that aren’t working — no more saving things for when you need them. When you do, they will still be there waiting. So have an intention, stick with it and work at it, adding what you need as you go along.
Letting go Five: Think of what you want when it gets all too much
Sometimes we focus so much on the past — our future life is somewhat dismissed. Looking at the past is a habit drawing itself out of emotional pain and turmoil. You play the situation over and over again. Sometimes we have to stop and see it as finished, a so-called done deal. Those moments will pop up regularly, but let them pass. Then, channel into the future and think about what you do want. What will your life look like, where will you be, what will you look like, and how will you feel? Those that love us want what’s best — and they want you to look forward to a future that’s bright, happy and abundant. So make their wish come true. Sometimes these five steps can seem enormous when it comes to our pain. What I have found that works very well is to let feelings and emotions appear as they want to, and they will dissolve as fast as they show themselves. As time heals, these moments will become smaller and smaller. Right now, it feels like it’s all-consuming — and it is. But, this too shall pass.