How feelings can mess up your life, if your values don’t align

Did you ever ask yourself this question – why am I feeling the way I am right now?

 We spend eons of days and years wondering why we are experiencing a giant mountain of different emotions during our teenage years. Of course, our peers and those older than us say it’s just hormones. But, eventually, they will sort themselves out. But do they ever “sort themselves out,” or are we just putting our feelings and emotions on the back-burner because they become too hard to handle? Has there ever been a time in your life where you’ve had clarity as to why you’re feeling certain emotions? Perhaps you think you have but have you built self-awareness to get to the root cause of why that emotional response has come up? Very few of us know why something triggers an emotional response. Instead, we automatically think it’s because someone else words or actions have hurt us. As I’m listening to Jay Shetty’s book “Think Like a Monk, ” I realised that my reactions towards someone who hurts or upsets me aren’t the real emotion. The trigger lies in something a lot deeper than this surface action. I mean by this, my values and ethics from childhood have navigated my life path to this day- and will continue to do so. We can change this path if we grow and evolve. The trouble is, not many people understand this— because no one has brought it to our attention. Unfortunately, we don’t know that values become influenced by the things we allow our minds to absorb. Imagine how further back this started (say, even after age 3-4) and how much we’ve accumulated during our lifespan. It’s a heck of a lot of different thoughts, values and beliefs. Then we get a bit from our parent’s, relatives, friends and of course, the people we study and workaround. Phew, that sound so exhausting! No wonder we sometimes can’t control the thoughts that go in our minds and the feelings we experience. The book suggests a very effective exercise, and it was brought to my attention just how much danger kids of today face. Not only are they constantly bombarded with different social media platforms, but they also fill every second of their time with some activity on specific devices. But it’s not only kids; adults aren’t falling too far behind, developing obsessions with devices and occupying one’s mind. 

So the following exercise will ruffle some peoples feathers.

 Jay’s suggestion was to allow yourself some space – to switch off from the world, and of course, all devices that absorb your attention. It’s within that stillness that allows you the time to self reflect. Without this how can we realise the following points about us:• What’s really at the core of our feelings• Why we are feeling anger, sadness, depression or anxiety• Discovering why we have a habit or reaction to something over and over again• What it is that we genuinely want in life The following ways will help to cultivate that necessary space for inner reflection. Finally, I want to say that the best part of starting this journey is that internal review becomes something you look forward to and can provide leverage in activating your sixth sense a whole lot more. 

Option One To Do every day:

Perhaps at the end of your day. Sit down in a quiet space, and write down how your day went. What emotions came up for you, and what were those triggering situations. 

Option Two Once Per Month:

Go to one place that you haven’t been to before. Let yourself become absorbed by the surroundings and explore yourself in these. 

Option Three Is As Often As Possible:

Do something meaningful to you. For many of us here on this platform, that could be writing about specific things. Maybe it’s making wholesome meals for your family or sharing a moment with your loved one during dinner. Try to do these as often as possible. It’s easy to become absorbed in work or those everyday chores. Sometimes these suffocate us from the true meaning of our life. All the abovementioned options are practical exercises, and I have vowed to do it every day for 40 days to become rewarded with a stronger sense of self-awareness. One other extra thing you can do is audit how you spend your time—discovering how you spend most of your time (except for work) will help you evaluate the actual structure of your values. During these instances, many people realise they spend way too much time working in the office and less time with family and friends. That can hurt your soul, and every year you deny this, the feeling will turn into guilt and anger. Although we cannot go back and change the past, one thing that has helped me a lot is this: Having the time and space with yourself, gently talking it through and working through the pain is the first step towards healing. Not everyone can quit their job tomorrow, but if we allow ourselves time to realise any feelings that come up, our entire lives will completely turn around. Turn off those devices, the latest movie on stan and take our your journal instead. Allow yourself the gift of knowing yourself a lot better by going deep to discover what it is that hurts, hinders and drives your life. I promise it will be the best habit you will ever cultivate.

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