By Habits are the best way to start creating long-lasting and sustainable changes in your life.
We all build habits long term (or short-term, for that matter). The problem lies in the awareness of whether the habit is good or bad for our well-being. Sometimes, we become so used to doing something that we’re unaware it’s sabotaging our life (or health). This can become apparent in our weight, health and mental state too. Have you ever suddenly realised that the place you are now isn’t where you want to be?
It’s like waking up from a dream, wondering how you got here! I was a sucker for this often occurring — especially regarding weight gain. We all have that one issue that keeps happening to us. But, unfortunately, sometimes we only notice when the damage has been done. Developing an awareness of what could be holding you back from success is enlightening.
Moreover, it suddenly becomes liberating knowing you have finally pinpointed the unnoticed for years. This calls for a shot of bravery here. It’s not easy to call yourself out. We find it a lot easier to pick at other people’s mistakes but aren’t that crash hot working out our own? This is the one thing that inhibits many people from moving forward. So let’s promise to uncover the hidden trouble beneath the surface. Taking back control and responsibility is what’s going to set you free.
One: Always spend time on your thinking
We are all inundated with devices and noise around us, which stops us from thinking, feeling and developing self-awareness of what’s happening inside ourselves. I was always too busy to pay attention, and now I look back regretfully.
In 2020, the universe gave me signs to spend as much time as possible with my mum. I would get clues that her life would be limited, but I put that down to paranoia and possibly just the mumbling in my head. I did spend time with her, & she enjoyed her life, too, doing the things she loved. But I still wish I was with her a lot more. To this day, I believe she knew what would happen and didn’t want to say anything to me, as she would know how upset I’d become. Then in March 2021, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The cyst grew so large that it blocked the bile flow from her pancreas. She lived for less than six months and fought for as long as she could. It exhausted her in every way, and during the final weeks of her life, she just wanted to rest.
Finally, she was ready to go, even though I wasn’t ready to let go. I will always regret not listening — all because I wasn’t spending more time on my own to think. To let the thoughts of inspiration infiltrate my mind.
Do what you can to sit quietly, walk or even meditate. Regret eats away at your soul, as does guilt. You don’t have to spend time in those modes if you listen to what your soul tells you & act on it, even if it’s silly to you at the time.
Two: Put yourself first — You deserve to be number one
I spent many years putting myself last to make others happy. That, in turn, made me feel miserable. I have made some mistakes and have learnt the hard way. We all need to be honest about what we want and ask ourselves why we don’t feel worthy of prioritising our needs. Sure, there are some stages where we must put a baby first, a parent, or a friend. But this is different when we live miserable lives because we’re getting walked all over. Become your best friend and seek the things that make you happy. If it’s not harming anyone else, do it. You deserve to be satisfied now and for the time you have left.
Three: Make your health a high priority
Overindulging, drinking, taking drugs and smoking will all deteriorate your health and well-being. You may not feel the negative consequences, but they will catch up with you. My father died of cancer, and we never found out what kind because his body was riddled with it. He has been an avid smoker and drinker from a teenager. Unfortunately, he passed away in his mid 60’s. My mum developed pancreatic cancer triggered by her diabetes. For years mum would eat gluten-free foods containing higher than-normal sugar levels for decades, eventually weakening her pancreas.
Nutrition has changed so much now. We are encouraged to become more aware of the food we put in our mouths. Live life fully by taking charge of your health, eating whole foods and exercising daily.
Four: Get rid of those people in your life that are hurting you
Sometimes it can be hard to do this because they may be related to us, or we must work with them. But, if they are the person you choose to have in your life, it’s best to get rid of them quickly — and for good. I’m not saying this is easy, and expanding your comfort regarding confrontation with people is a big stretch! I hate conflict too! But the mental and health benefits from doing this one thing — eliminating toxicity in your life, could be the one thing that saves you! That might mean finding a new job, dismissing a friend, or ending a relationship. Don’t waste another minute in that pool of darkness if it’s causing you so much distress that you feel awful inside. Life is so short and fleeting. We have all arrived to take up a small place and make a difference. You have every right to be happy, experience all you desire, and eliminate the people in your life who don’t allow you to flourish.
Five: Accept people as they are, and you will be accepted
This was tough for me to take. But it does make a lot of sense. We are all characters of our rights and have been brought up in many different ways. Some are privileged, and most are not. People may uncover habits that repulse you, or perhaps you disagree with them. But what it comes down to is acceptance of these people. They are who they are, just as you are. I have learnt that if you accept someone and do not take their mannerisms seriously but shake it off, you will not hurt your well-being and energy flow. Becoming upset over someone’s actions and attitude towards you is not worth a second of your mental and emotional well-being. Let them act and say what they like — just as you would. Their actions will be reflected on them — not you — by the world around them at large. It’s none of your business what happens to them as a result — worry about your inner well-being and health. Leave the universe or higher power to deal with others. This will free you from taking people, things and events too seriously. The world owes us nothing at all.
As Tony Robbins says:In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
Be consistent — every single day. Show bravery and courage and love yourself enough to make YOU happy today.
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