By To start, you must decide
So many people I speak to wake up every single day with regret. They aren’t happy, living a life that’s not fulfilling or moving further away from fragments of past joyful moments. So many of us don’t even know what makes us happy — and instead, focus on unfavourable things. The other day I spoke with a friend who told me he wasn’t pleased with his life. There was anger towards his spouse and job. But, of course, he had valid points in both aspects. I mean, everyone has their values that define joy in relationships and work. But for the moment, he felt stuck, unable to move forward. I know this feeling, as I, too, am experiencing the same sort of challenge within different aspects of my own life. The funny thing is we keep moving right into it, deepening ourselves in the all-consuming pit. We’ve already done so much damage, with a trail of destruction miles behind us. It’s overwhelming to see just how much is there — and it’s all our fault. Changing is scary. People rely on us; we must act, work, make money, put food on the table. So how can we turn our back on those we distaste if it means hurting other people? What about the fear of confrontation? When you put all this aside, you realise just how complicated you’ve made a simple and uncomplicated task. That decision is to go ahead and finally make a decision. It’s so easy, but oh so hard when you have deeply embezzled yourself in life’s complexities.
But we have to decide to:
- Stop putting up with people’s behaviour that hurts us
- Stop putting up with being around others that diminish our sparkle
- Stop putting up with anything sucking our life energy out of us
- Stop accepting shitty clients that make the job harder than it is
And I’m sure there are many more to add; in fact, it will never end. The list can end with one simple key action point. When we are unhappy with some part of our life, the first step is to become aware. Writing it down and letting it out of your head and heart is the first step. After this step, what can you do about this unhappy situation? First, write that down, secondly. As unfavourable as it is, let it flow out like a tide and sit with it until it fades away. You can do two things — and two things only.
One: What do you need to do yourself to change it.
Remember, you can only alter your own beliefs about the thing. If it’s got to do with another person, you cannot change them.
Two: Accept it and move on
That’s it. Simple, straight to the point and straightforward. However harmful it is, you don’t have to stay in it, although having an action plan for the future when you can tackle it is essential. That will help you see through the negativity and the time required to take the shit you need to. But if it’s a small thing and not a big deal, then accept it forever — no mentioning of it and no magnification is needed either. Let the new year become your catalyst for change or acceptance of certain situations. Of course, you don’t always control certain things, but constantly thinking and talking about them makes it worse. Remember that what you think about most appears in your life. So make sure you’re thinking about the things you want instead. It’s just another lesson to learn in the school of life. If you would like to read more articles like this or start writing your own, please sign up via my link. I’d love to see you on the other side. Sign up here for your medium subscription I get a portion from your monthly fee at no extra cost to you and it will go a long way in supporting me as a writer.